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 There are two pairs of really bodacious
blondes on Lost in Space, and I’m gonna put these four felines in
fights
with each other. The first two blondies I want to match up are Judy Robinson’s
great-great-great granddaughter (from the third season episode "Flight Into the Future") and Alien
Soldier #1 (from the third season episode "Kidnapped in Space"). In "Flight Into the Future,"
Will Robinson, Dr. Smith, and the Robot end up accidentally taking off in the
Pod—Smith’s fault, of course. They end up landing on a planet, where they await
Don and John, who have followed them in the Jupiter 2. Will and Dr. Smith both get sleepy,
and—much to the Robot’s consternation—the two both take a little nap. When
they wake up, it seems as if they have slept for years. Bizarre things begin to happen;
Will and Smith both see odd sights such as warriors on horses coming over the hills and
giant lizards. And, weirdly enough, Will and Smith
discover an abandoned Jupiter 2, with a replica memorial of the Robot nearby.
Will and Dr. Smith end up being confronted by two astronauts—Earthlings, but from the very distant future. They later walk to the astronauts’ camp to try to meet with them, which is where they meet up with a woman who looks exactly like Judy Robinson, dressed in a cute little outfit with a red cape and futuristic red hat. She claims that she is Judy Robinson’s great-great-great granddaughter, and Will is astonished.
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 In "Kidnapped in Space," we see
Alien Warrior #1 as a blonde version of Alien #1220 — silver-skinned, with silver
fabric laced through her blonde hair. (See the Beautiful
Brunettes page to see Alien #1220.) Alien Soldier #1 is prominent only in her role as
worker; early in the episode, we see her doing some word-processing on an alien
language-translation computer, and we see her getting Dr. Smith ready for the operation he
is to perform on the alien’s computerized leader.
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Now THIS is probably the catfight pairing that Lost in Space fans (especially heterosexual male LIS fans) have been imagining and waiting for all these years! Ms. Effra says: "Verily, it would be a great thing to see NON from the third season episode ‘Two Weeks in Space’ and the Alien Biker Chick from the third season episode ‘Collision of Planets’ embroiled in an outrageous, blonde-headed, fur-festive catfight!"
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"Two Weeks in Space" begins in the inside of an alien ship.
There, we see bizarre fur-headed aliens who want to land on the planet
on which the Robinsons are temporarily residing. John, Don, Maureen,
Judy, and Penny are away from the Jupiter 2 site; they are camping while
they are setting up a radio relay station. Yes, Dr. Smith, Will, and the
Robot are "holding down the fort" at the J2 campsite, so the
stage is set for things to go awry. The aliens decide that before they
land, they will change their appearance so that they look more humanoid,
and they decide that they will take Mr. Zumdish from where he is being
stored, to act the part of their tour director. (What's Zumdish doing
there? Don’t even ask!) In one of the pictures above you’ll see NON
and her alien galpal TAT in their new humanoid outfits. (You’ll notice
that Ms. Effra has not placed TAT in a catfight on the Beautiful Brunettes
page; she has left TAT out since Ms. TAT stole Ms. Effra’s dress-up
hairstyle. See the last two pics of me and Don West on the Blonde vs. Brunette: the Ultimate Catfight!
page.) In no time flat, Dr. Smith has responded to the aliens. He
transforms the Jupiter 2 into "Happy Acres Hotel," and the
aliens seek to wreak havoc on the Robinsons.
Another group of aliens that decides to wreak havoc on the Robinsons is the group of alien bikers from "Collision of Planets." Three guys and a girl—a blonde hippie girl—whooooey! These bikers are sent by their planet’s leaders to blow up the planet upon which the Jupiter 2 rests. The space hippies don’t want to give the Robinsons time to get off the planet. A general sense of the politics of women’s roles in the 1960s—especially their roles in young groups such as the hippies—can be gleaned from both "Collision of Planets" and "Two Weeks in Space." The Alien Biker Chick from "Collision of Planets" is considered "equal" in that she is expected to do her share of the detonation work. But the men, especially the lead male biker, treat her poorly. Similarly, in "Two Weeks in Space," when NON and TAT come out of the matter transformer and inspect their new garb, the head male alien says, "Ugly, but I suppose practical." NON replies, "I kinda like it!" The lead alien responds, "Your opinion was not requested! Females, go below and prepare for landing."
The winner of this catfight? NON. |
Who would win in a catfight between these
two ladies? This is a hard one for Ms. Effra to call. Part of me thinks that
Judy’s great-great-great granddaughter would be the winner of the catfight, since
Alien
Warrior #1 is just a handmaiden to the alpha male on her planet, Alien #764. And
although Alien Warrior #1 looks like the blonde counterpart of Alien #1220, she
really is only a handmaiden to Alien #1220, as well. But does Judy’s
great-great-great granddaughter really have any agency and power herself? We find
out, after all, that she is merely an illusion, created by an
alien force eventually quelled by Will Robinson. Ms. Effra has to say that a
catfight between these two lovelies would be very interesting. Yet right now, she can only
predict a draw.
