vs.

        Here are two very serious young ladies. With those set jaws and solemn expressions, they look as if they are ready to conquer the world. If they wanted something, do you think they would go after it and fight for it, tooth and nail? Well, you’re right.

        There was an actual catfight on Lost in Space. And it was a pretty darn sexy one. Ms. Effra hasn’t just been making all this up! Yes, in the middle of the first season of Lost in Space--in the episode "The Space Croppers"--Effra and Judy Robinson had a little bit of an altercation . . . all because Ms. Effra had the audacity to come on to Major Don West . . .

        One day, I was out on Priplanus, minding my brother Keel. I have to watch what he does, because he’s apt to go stealing food from neighbors, and when the moon becomes full, he even turns into a werewolf. That’s when I really get a workout, watching Keel. Anyways, one day I was out looking for Keel. I wandered close to what turned out to be the Robinsons’ campsite, and apparently Keel was riffling through the Robinsons’ hydroponic garden, stuffing his face full of vegetables. See, we was waitin’ for our crop to get mature enough, so that we could turn the plants loose on Priplanus, and then we’d get to eat the plants. So Keel was a mite hungry that day. (I don’t mind bein’ a little hungry, as it helps me fit better into my spacecropper outfits.)

        Well, that Don West had come out and started tryin’ to put Keel off, but Keel was too much for that Don. Guess who saved the day? Yes, yours truly. I said, "Keel, you stop that! Put him down! Put him down! You act nice when you’se visitin’ neighbors." Then I took a look at Don. Even though he had fought like a wuss, I forgave him, since most people aren’t able to defend themselves very well when Keel’s around. That Don West’s actually kinda cute, with his pilot’s stripes ‘n all. I knew he was out of breath from fighting Keel, but I had some fun with him. I asked, all breathy-like,  "Does your face always hot up and turn red when you’re spoken to?"

        Then all of a sudden, <clunk!> I hear equipment being dropped, and next thing I know, Judy Robinson is pushin’ my hands away from Don. In mock answer to my question about Don’s face, she said, "I can tell you that. And the answer is to keep your hands to yourself!"

        Judy was upset, Don was uncomfortable, and I was defiant . . . and lookin’ mighty sexy, if I do say so myself. Here’s a set of photos that shows the rest of my catfight with Judy Robinson.

 Okay, it looks like Judy’s got me. At least for now.

But I am obstinate -- I won’t be put off easy!

Heh, heh, her Ma sends her off to get some seasonin’ for me! Pail duty for Judy!

        Heck, Don had only been away from Earth (and in an enforced state of celibacy) for about half a year when I met up with him on Priplanus. If me, Ma, and Keel had run into the Robinsons again in the second or third season of Lost in Space, why I know I could’ve take that Don away from ‘ole Judy Robinson.

        But you never know what’ll happen. The Jupiter 2 is still out there, lost in space.